06 Oct 4 Questions That Will Help You Create a Calm Oasis Within Yourself.
Have you ever had the experience of feeling super overwhelmed or frustrated, and in a desperate attempt to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling, you say or do something that you later regret?
I used to struggle with this quite a bit, especially in romantic relationships. No wonder my love life was a mess then! I knew that if I was wanted to create a safe and secure relationship with someone, I needed to first find ways to feel calm inside of me. Even when the sh*t hits the fan; and EVEN if the fan is running on full speed. ????
Of all the things I tried, there are 3 that work the best for me.
This exercise I’m about to share with you, is one of them. And to this day, I still do it every morning. It only takes a few minutes, but it’s worth it’s weight in gold. You will know it’s working when you find yourself calmly responding to things, rather than mindlessly reacting to them.
So, the 4 questions are:
1) What is your safe place? A place you can completely relax and let go. Where you feel content and safe. It could be a real place you have been to (your garden, your best friends home, your childhood bedroom etc), or an imaginary place in your mind (like a beach or the clouds). For me, it is the arm chair in our bedroom.
2) Who is your protector? Someone or something that guards you, looks out for you and is strong enough to not let bad things happen to you. Again, it could be a real person (alive or passed) in your life, or imaginary (like superman). For me, it is a gorilla. (Yeah, he’s a gentle giant, but boy can he destroy anything or anyone who tries to hurt me!)
3) Who is your nurturer? Someone who takes care of you, fluffs your pillow and gets you a warm drink when you’re sick. Someone who looks for ways to make your life a little easier. Again, it can be a real person (alive or not) in your life that has played this role, or an imaginary character that evokes this feeling in you. For me, it’s my best friend Umsi.
4) Who is your wise counsel? Someone who listens closely and always helps you figure out the next best move. Someone whom you feel has unending wisdom and knows what your spirit needs even when you don’t. For me, it’s my wife.
Now that you have these 4 answers, every day, I want you to take just 3-5 minutes, close your eyes, and really FEEL your safe place, your protector, your nurturer and your wise counsel. Bring them to life. ‘See’ in your minds eye how calm and content you feel in your safe place, how your strong protector rushes in to take care of you when feel threatened or scared, the many small things your nurturer does for you to show love, and how it feels to know you will always have your wise counsel – a source of wisdom for you when you don’t know what to do next.
Rinse and repeat daily.
It’s a super power. And it’s deceptively simple, as super powers often are. Try it and see.
If you enjoyed this post, please hit “like” button (I feel energized when I know I’m sharing things you find useful). And please share in the comments what YOUR 4 things are – I can’t wait to hear!